Warning Labels
by Lhinneill
Summary: WARNING: Avoid serious injury or death.


**Warning Labels**

Author: Lhinneill

Summary: WARNING: Avoid serious injury or death.

Rating: PG

Length: 579 words

Category: Humor

Pairing: Gen/Team

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: My first fic that's really only about the humor. :) It's set sometime pre season 3, not sure exactly WHEN. Thanks to Lionchilde for the beta, and my friends, the typoteers, for all their help. Thanks guys!

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Teal'c eyed the chaos of Colonel O'Neill's backyard with a raised eyebrow. "O'Neill, I believe we will require more than a single hour to correct this catastrophe."

"Catastrophe?" the Colonel squawked indignantly. "A little mowing...raking..." he waved his arms. "It'll be as good as new."

"I do not believe that to be the case, O'Neill."

"Oh for crying out loud, Teal'c!" He shoved the handle of a rake at Teal'c, not waiting for the Jaffa to take the gardening tool before dropping it. Teal'c caught it easily, then flipped it to examine the tines at the end.

"O'Neill..."

"Ah!" Jack cut him off, waving a finger in his face. "Just rake the damn yard, Teal'c."

Teal'c raised one eyebrow, cocked his head, then looked at the rake again. "I do not believe this device to be sufficient for the task at hand."

Jack clapped a hand over his eyes and moaned. "Nevermind, Teal'c." He waved his arm towards the tool shed in the far corner of his backyard and pulled the rake out of Teal'c's hands. "Go help Daniel with the mower, will ya?"

With a single eyebrow still raised, Teal'c watched the Tauri man get to work pulling the rake across the grass. His frown deepened, and he turned, clasping his hands in the small of his back. After a final moment's pause, he headed for the small brown shed that sat at a strange tilt in an otherwise bare corner of the yard.

"DanielJackson," he greeted as he stepped into the shed. The place was dimly lit by a single bare bulb wired to the 2x4 rafters above.

"Teal'c! I thought you were helping Jack rake the leaves?"

"O'Neill instructed me to assist you."

"Oh. Thanks, Teal'c, but...I, uh. I'm fine here." He pushed his glasses up with a dirty finger, smudging a line of grease along his nose.

Silently, Teal'c bent to observe his teammate's progress. His eyes narrowed when he saw a bright yellow sticker with large red font affixed to the dark green mower. 'WARNING: Avoid serious injury or death.'

He frowned. "DanielJackson. What is the purpose of this?" he pointed to the sticker. "Are the Tauri not capable of such basic reasoning?"

Daniel coughed. "Well, Teal'c. I...I really don't know." His lips quirked in a small smile and he shrugged. "I guess some of us aren't." He bent back over the mower, hands returning to the greasy engine. Something snapped. "Damn it!" he hissed, jerking his hand away abruptly. He lifted the bruised knuckle to his lips, waving his uninjured hand at the mower. "Teal'c?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Obviously, his friend didn't realize his instinctive reaction to nurse his injury had smeared his lips and chin with the dark black grease from the mower. The Jaffa's lips twitched suddenly and his eyes lit up in amusement.

"What?" Daniel murmured around the knuckle in his mouth.

Teal'c shook his head silently, then bent to examine the engine. He frowned. What was he supposed to be looking for? Experimentally, he poked at a white-capped wire, then plugged it over a short, silver bolt nearby. Motioning for Daniel to move back, he reached for the starter cord and gave it a strong pull.

The mower started.

Daniel glared.

Jack appeared in the doorway of the shed, gesturing emphatically. Teal'c shut off the mower.

"What the hell are you doing?! You're supposed to be mowing the grass, not the shed!"


End file.
